The blended family lifestlyle is messy. Along the way you are going to take a few punches. It doesn’t matter whether you are the mother or father, issues involving your children are painful. Whether you are dealing with time with a child, feeling involved or the nitty gritty of child support-mothers and fathers feel the strain. We feel bitter and angry over having to deal with any of this, we get upset over the slights.
As a Christian in a stepfamily, I feel called to seek God’s answer to these “punches.” Of course I feel angry when I don’t like something that within my family. It’s natural to get upset! When other people are calling some of the shots in your life, the lack of control is difficult to handle. When it looks like someone is trying to hurt those you love, bitterness can well up inside you. I understand these are relevant emotions. But I refuse to let them take over our life. I want to know what God says about anger and bitterness, what He says about taking the “punches.”
God gives us so much in the Bible. Some people think “oh there’s nothing in the Bible that applies to me” or ” I don’t see anything that God said about stepfamilies.” Ha! I am just laughing. Bitterness and anger can take over the heart and rule the life of people living in a stepfamily. And God knows it. He has some pretty powerful words for it, too.
James 1:19-20 Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Get a call or email you didn’t like? Was it from your ex or even your child? See what God has to say about it- God says to listen, but be slow to reply. Don’t hit the “reply” button on your email right away….feel free to call someone back after you have a few minutes to digest what they are saying.
Here’s a good follow up verse: Luke 6:31 As you wish that others would do to you, do so unto them.
I know, it hurts. But that does not mean lashing out and fighting back is the answer. Returning hurt for hurt is not what the Bible teaches us. Let God heal your heart. And pause to find the best solution for the situation.
Let me just end with this one verse. We’ve had alot to handle this year, alot of decisions to make. We were presented with some issues where the blended family world would say, “Hey! If you get the chance, this is your obvious answer.” But God led us down a different path. He showed us that the ways of the world, the gut reactions of a blended family, are not always His ways.
Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God.